so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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