i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
