Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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