At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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