I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
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I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
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I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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