he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
