I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize