does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize