Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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