What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
