do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital