I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds