question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.