I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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