I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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