think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
