you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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