I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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