so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
