Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
