It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
