he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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