Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Houston, we have a blender
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
