he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
