I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
