i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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