Are we in a gay sports bar?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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