dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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