im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
