you didnt know i had herpes?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
