Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
