Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
