my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
