I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
