It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
