Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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