If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
