My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
