Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
