I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
