She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
