actually, I'm a sock model
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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