even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
