I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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