Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
