youre lurking in front of me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
