She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
