Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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