you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
