the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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