Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have post one night stand depression
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
