she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
