Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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