i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
