OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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