whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
