every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
only you would photoshop your dick
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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