she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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