we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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