i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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