So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
