its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
