I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
