I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
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