All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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