I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
