You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
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Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
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There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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